What a Boring Flamethrower

Photo Courtesy: Boringcompany.com
Elon Musk’s Boring Company, released a limited amount of “Flamethrowers” which sold out in four days

Jorja Gwaltney/Correspondent

It all started with a boring hat.  Quite literally- a hat from The Boring Company.  Elon Musk is the CEO, co-founder, and chairman of many companies, including The Boring Company.  He started selling hats back in Oct. 2017, and by Dec. 10, 2017, he was promising to market flamethrowers after selling 50,000 hats.  Many people probably took this as a joke, especially since, after Musk tweeted his flamethrower idea, he added in his thread, “I know it’s a little off-brand, but kids love it.”  By Dec. 24, 2017, Musk sold 50,000 hats at $20 a pop, clearing one million dollars (not including shipping).  Under the “Hat” tab on boringcompany.com, Musk even added the song “Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien” by Edith Piaf.  If you are not familiar with French, this translates to “I regret nothing.” 

That is where it began.  His success with the hats and the (mostly) positive feedback fueled his desire to keep selling odd items.  The hat wasn’t such an odd idea, but a flamethrower?  Some were furious.  Miguel Santiago, a politician in California, tweeted in response to Musk’s business strategy: “If this is real, I’m outraged, and you should be too.  If this is a joke, then it’s a terribly insensitive one given that we’re coming off of the worst wildfire season in history. Either way: NOT FUNNY. NOT GONNA HAPPEN.” 

It does not stop there- customs agencies were also unhappy.  Musk tweeted on Feb. 2, 2018, “Some custom agencies are saying they won’t allow shipment of anything called a ‘Flamethrower.’  To solve this, we are renaming it ‘Not a Flamethrower.'”  And that is exactly what they did.

Musk began selling The Boring Company Flamethrower on Jan. 27, 2018 at $500.  He also sold The Boring Company Fire Extinguisher for $30.  According to CNN, “The goal was to raise $10 million for his tunneling business.”

So he did. He sold 20,000 flamethrowers and plenty of fire extinguishers as well.  Musk saw the humor the whole time, saying under the large PRE-ORDER button, “Buy an overpriced Boring Company fire extinguisher!  You can definitely buy one for less elsewhere, but this one comes with a cool sticker, and the button is conveniently riiiight above.”

Musk’s followers, at one point ,even started a rumor that he was creating an apocalypse to make the flamethrowers relevant.  Musk denies this in a tweet and responds, “You’d need millions of zombies for a so-called ‘apocalypse’ anyway. Where would I even get a factory big enough
to make so many!?”

Many saw the humor here ,since Musk is in the process of building an enormous factory for his company, Tesla Inc.  His Gigafactory, according to its website, is less than 30% done and already covers over 1.9 million square feet (over 4.9 million square feet across several floors). So it is a realistic possibility that he is creating an army of zombies to start an apocalypse, just so he can sell flamethrowers. He’s Elon Musk–he can do anything, and the world most certainly does not deserve his endless sense of humor.